you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
