But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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