dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
third nipple confirmed
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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