38 yer olds are good kisserssss
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
