Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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