I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
