I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
