let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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