Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
