I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
