He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
