Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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