Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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