I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
