I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
