How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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