Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
