Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
