It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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