hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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