hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
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