Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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