sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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