I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My life is pants optional.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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