def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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