he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
