sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
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