Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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