Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
