how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
