You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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