i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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