okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
