fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
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Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
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No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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