she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
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You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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