I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
