So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
