mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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