i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize