THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Bring me that man meat
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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