Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
