if you like me you must not know who I am
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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