It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
