so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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