be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize