a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im six kinds of drunk right now
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
