We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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