im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
