oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
