You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
