we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
