dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
