you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
