Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
