and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
