no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
