I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize