Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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