I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
