sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The beer is more important than you right now.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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